umm... right

Well, Im guessing the possibilities are infinite.
For what? Im not quite sure.
The biggest incentive which anchored me to
my coffee shop job at Peet's is gone.
And ive been over that place for a while now.
Summer school is now out of the question.
There are possibilities for more exciting places to work,
but ive also got places to be and people to see.
Plus... this is the first summer in years that
I will be going into not depressed, apathetic or angry.
Its so good that its weird.
Ive got 4 months to live like ive never lived before,
then I take off for Japan.
I dont know what is in store for me this time around, but
dear God, please let this one be different.



so ill take it slow. (for now)

Missing something

I think one of the major things I'll miss when I move abroad will be this house I live in. Ill miss my roomates, the random people that show up and are in and out of the house... Ill miss all the good times and all the growing pains. Theres a whole lot to live for and I know I just don't quite get it yet. I can't express myself even when I'm alone in a way i would like to. Lyrical eloquence isn't something I was gifted with, but because of that, other people's words have a way of reaching me better than I can describe. Basically what Im trying to say is im falling in love. With what im not exactly too sure... I want it to be God. But in reality, i find myself falling in love with Ideas, shapes and combinations of words.. Whenever I feel lonely or wanting someones attention, I realize its possible that God wants this same attention. Yet I fail so bad when it comes to reading his word. All I want is to walk and talk with him who created me. I feel a little lost, a little depressed because I cant woo him or pursue him in ways I wish I could. I cant even write one simple song in his honor. But I know he loves me and right now thats all I need to know. its 242 am and I need sleep now! but first... i need to finish some homework. peace.

Ahh. after a long time of waiting... there is even more waiting to be done! But at least now I have some sort of idea about my possible future home.









YAY!!!

Summer is Over!!

Wow, its been 3 whole months since last wrote anything here. Life is different now and more interesting than ever. I suppose ill just leave this to a few random notes on life.. but first, what did I learn this summer?

Love, its our greatest commandment, but its the most enjoyable. While I didn't work at any church or get involved in any organization sort of deal, my ministry was and is the people I work with and socialize with outside of the AGO circle. While God allowed me to enter into the lives of all those people I love and care about, he also taught me something very valuable through these people. "Reality check." I remembered that Jesus was the one who went after those that were different, vile, unwanted or secular. Not those that were trying to live self-righteously. For those of you who actually take the time to read this, thank you! I want to encourage every one of you believers to strive to go beyond having a christian bubble this semester. We need to be friends with non-believers just as much as they need Christ! While some of us may get the idea that were doing our secular friends a favor by being a good influence, keep in mind that we need them as much as they need us. For my self, I do what I can to be an example, but they are also my reality check. God is our ultimate authority in all of our struggles between self-righteousness and the secular life. It is unfortunate that the image of christianity is not very appealing, but with love, we can still show the image of Christ to others.

well, i would post more but its almost 3am. Bye.

Ps: Lets not isolate ourselves and end up grumpy bears.

Summer is here!

Life busy and its all crazy again!
I started summer school Monday and starting next week ill be working at least 30 hours a week. On top of running 4 times a week and trying to maintain a social life surpassing that of last semester its already been a ride and its only going to get crazier if not more interesting. Theres been some garbage in the last few weeks to get past, but who doesn't have to deal with that? anywhoo, im freaking tired. Love one another and be kind to each other.
Hang out with your friends and turn off your phones. spending quality time with the people you are with is far more important than answering phone calls or responding to text if the people that matter are right in front of you.

Remember to first stay close to God.
its always hard to apply..

"Trust in the Lord with all your heart, do not depend on your own understanding. Seek his will in all that you do and he will direct your paths." -Prov. 3: 5-6

Memory Verse

Psalm 61: 1-4

"O God, Listen to my cry!

Hear my prayer!
From the ends of the earth,
I will cry to you for help,
for my heart is overwhelmed.
Lead me to the towering rock of safety,
for you are my safe refuge,
a fortress where my enemies cannot
reach me.
Let me live forever in your sanctuary,
safe beneath the shelter of your wings!"

Recently Ive felt like a shipwreck. Sometimes even the smallest things cause the biggest disappointments. Things that shouldn't really even matter count too much. Then I remember how much I've forgotten to be filled by God. Only he can fill me and nothing else. Sometimes all the other junk no matter how good it seems, has to be cut out for the sake of nurturing that strong relationship with him. We'll ultimately find disappointment's and discontent in the people and things we trust in this world, but its taken me 23 years to finally realize, God is it. There is nothing else that can take his place and nothing ever will fill me until the day he decides otherwise. Until then.. I can do anything he wills me to.

whooo hooo

Ive been slacking at putting up a new post, but when your living away from your apartment due to serious jackhammering and plumbing renovations... that may keep me away from my own blogging place for a few days. Tonight I am going to be spending the first night in my apartment since over a week and a half ago. Thank goodness that God has blessed AGO with a house that hobos such as myself can crash. hm.. theres novels I could write about things that have happened since then, but putting it all down would take forever. Im just glad I have God to run to when life is shakey. Yesterday I was thinking about "let that be enough" from Switchfoot. I remembered how broken i've felt and how much I need God to fill me up and nothing else. Anyways, I need to get to bed because something crazy starts in less than 10 hours. Hoowaaa!